


Hey, Sailor

by jujitsuelf



Category: The Losers (2010), The Losers - All Media Types
Genre: Kilts, M/M, PWP, Shameless Smut, kilt porn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-14
Updated: 2014-03-14
Packaged: 2018-01-15 17:41:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1313581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jujitsuelf/pseuds/jujitsuelf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen's an honorary Scotsman - who knew? Jensen owns a kilt - again, who knew? Jensen likes to wear said kilt - Cougar approves. Repeatedly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hey, Sailor

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer – All publicly recognizable characters, settings etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended
> 
> ***
> 
> Thank you to 3white_mage3 and saral_hylor for the utterly random email conversation which somehow inspired this story.  
> Also thank you to Amethystina for the read-through and fangirling
> 
> ***

[ARTWORK!](http://brenna-ivy.tumblr.com/post/81818302302) Check out the wonderful art for this fic!

****

 

“What the hell are you doing?”

Pooch stared at Jensen as though he’d just announced an intention to grow a third arm. Cougar lowered his book a fraction and peered over the top. When Pooch used that tone of voice, amusing things usually happened.

“What do you mean, Pooch-man?” Jensen replied airily. “I’m not doin’ a thing.”

Pooch spluttered as Jensen calmly finished unbuttoning his shirt, took it off, then dropped it onto a nearby chair.

Cougar lowered his book another half inch. A shirtless Jensen was always worth looking at, even if he usually only took his clothes off in public in order to make Cougar jealous and in turn get fucked senseless the next time they were alone. Or when he was hacking, hacking required Jensen to wear boxers, a hat and occasionally combat boots. Cougar really liked the combat boots.

Pooch cast a helpless glance at Cougar as Jensen happily sat down at the tiny table which was currently acting as his desk and tapped away at his laptop.

“Why’s he got no shirt on, Cougs? It’s not hot in here, is it? Why does he keep taking his clothes off?”

Cougar shrugged, not about to admit that he had no problem with watching the muscles shift under Jensen’s skin as he typed. Everyone knew about him and Jake, but still, there was no reason to advertise their relationship, was there?

Huffing, Pooch turned the volume on the TV up and channel surfed viciously, muttering under his breath about crazy white dudes with no idea of public decency.

A tiny smile pulled at Jensen’s mouth. Cougar caught his eye and twitched an eyebrow in question. Jensen’s smile grew. Shrugging again, Cougar went back to his book but didn’t manage to read much, watching Jensen’s bare chest was far more interesting.

After a few minutes, Jensen stood, stretched languidly and gave Cougar another mysterious smile. Silently, he then turned on his heel and left the room.

“What’s he up to?” Pooch asked, frowning at the door through which Jensen had vanished.

Cougar grunted. Just because he was in love with the man didn’t mean he pretended to understand what went on in Jake Jensen’s head.

“He’s up to something,” Pooch went on darkly. “I don’t know whether to run now and beg Clay to find us an op or stick around and watch the floorshow when he comes back.”

Chuckling, Cougar re-applied himself to his book. Whatever Jensen was up to, it was probably going to be good.

They didn’t have long to wait, footsteps on the stairs announced Jensen’s return. Cougar’s jaw dropped as the love of his life strode into the living room.

“What in the name of God are you wearing?” Pooch actually squeaked.

“A kilt,” Jensen said, as though speaking to a complete idiot. “Duh.”

Cougar marked the page in his book and gave his full attention to the wonder which was Jensen in nothing but knee-length tartan, white socks and badly laced black combat boots.

“Why are you wearing that?” Pooch seemed to be having difficulty breathing as Jensen hoicked up one edge of the deep red kilt and scratched at a very bare thigh. “And are you wearing underwear?!”

“Of course not.” Jensen allowed the heavy fabric to fall back down to his knee again, to Pooch’s obvious relief. “A Scotsman never wears anything under his kilt, it’s tradition.”

Cougar sat further forward on his chair, thrusting his book behind him.

“But you’re not Scottish, man,” Pooch croaked.

“Actually, I am.” Jensen declared, sucking in his stomach and flashing Cougar a grin. “Generations ago, granted, but it seems some of my ancestors came over here after Culloden. I, my dear Poochie, am an honorary kilt-wearing Scottish dude and I am exercising my right to wear the garment of my ancestors.”

He twirled and the heavy fabric swung out and up. Cougar leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. For a tantalizing moment there was a flash of pale ass cheek which literally made Cougar’s mouth water. Nope, no boxers. Not even the Calvin Kleins which Jensen had been favoring recently.

Jensen smoothed the kilt back down, smirked, then sat at his desk again and proceeded to ignore both Cougar and Pooch while he typed furiously.

Pooch shot Cougar a glance which clearly asked whether their esteemed colleague had gone off his rocker.

Cougar smiled, shook his head and reached for his book again. Jensen was eccentric, but he always had his reasons. Sometimes he just liked to indulge his theatrical side.

That theatrical side was currently causing Cougar some discomfort as his pants were tighter than they had been a few moments ago, but it was nothing he couldn’t cope with. Patience usually paid off and he could entertain himself with thoughts of just what he could do when he got Jensen alone. The kilt was definitely staying on, at least for the first hour or so. There were things Cougar could do with that kilt. An image of Jensen, face down on their bed, moaning incoherently and rubbing himself off against that red tartan while Cougar rimmed him into next week, flashed across his mind. His pants got tighter.

Jensen stretched again and crossed his legs, resting one ankle on the opposite knee. Pooch glanced his way, then clapped a hand over his eyes.

“Shit! Jensen, fuck, man, go get some boxers.”

Jensen grinned. “What? I’m not doing anything.”

“Well I can see...things,” Pooch stood and groped his way to the door, his other hand still firmly over his eyes. “Things I really don’t need to see at this time in the afternoon. Next time you want to wear your precious kilt, if you don’t wear at least briefs under it, I’m telling Clay to transfer you.”

“You love me really,” Jensen called after him, as he made a quick exit. He looked at Cougar, who hadn’t moved. “He loves me really.”

“Stand up,” Cougar said quietly, settling back in his armchair and adjusting himself for the tenth time.

The smile on Jensen’s face turned lecherous as he did as he was told.

“Close the door.”

Jensen wedged a chair under the handle for good measure.

Cougar crooked a finger, “Here.”

The kilt swung from side to side as Jensen actually sashayed across the room, the heavy tartan slapping against his legs. He stopped between Cougar’s knees and blinked down at him. “Scotland the Brave? Care to see what’s under here, soldier?”

Cougar smirked but didn’t reply. Instead he slid both hands under the kilt hem and rested them on Jensen’s thighs. Jensen’s breathing sped up slightly, his legs twitched under Cougar’s hands.

“Stay still,” Cougar admonished mildly.

Jensen breathed out harshly and assumed parade rest as Cougar slid his palms up and over his thighs.

Nodding his approval, Cougar ran his thumbs up the soft skin inside Jensen’s legs and found...Jake. Even knowing that Jensen had no underwear on, it was still a bit of a surprise to find nothing but him under the tartan. Surprising and very arousing.

Flicking his eyes up to watch Jensen’s face, Cougar ran one thumbnail carefully along his rapidly hardening cock. The way Jake’s eyes fluttered shut for a second was totally worth Cougar’s very tight and uncomfortable pants.

Deciding bold was definitely the way to go, Cougar slid two fingers down over Jensen’s balls and back. Slickness coated those fingers as he dipped between Jake’s admittedly fabulous cheeks.

Cougar cocked an eyebrow at Jensen who flushed slightly.

“Figured it’d save time.”

Cougar’s own cock twitched at the thought of Jake prepping himself, but it was tinged with a tiny amount of proprietorial resentment. Jensen’s ass was his, damn it. But that resentment vanished as warm heat enveloped his fingers and Jensen gave a shaky little gasp above him.

The kilt tented as Cougar pressed in a little further and drew a moan from Jake. Smiling wickedly, Cougar leaned forward and mouthed at Jensen’s cock through the fabric. Jake twitched and shifted but managed to stay mostly still, at least until Cougar found the right spot inside him and made him groan aloud.

“Shit, Cougs.” Jensen’s hands landed on Cougar’s shoulders, then twisted into his hair.

With a huge effort of will, Cougar drew back, then freed his fingers. Jensen actually growled. Cougar smirked, growls from Jake didn’t happen often and he was secretly proud that he was the only one who heard them.

“Upstairs.” Cougar managed to keep his voice mild and even despite the need beginning to build in him. “Now.”

Jensen swallowed hard but nodded. “Probably a good plan.”

He turned toward the door, the kilt swung out behind him and gave Cougar an idea. It was likely that by now Pooch had told both Clay and Roque that Jensen was having one of his crazy episodes. So unless they were tapped for an immediate departure mission, nobody would bother the pair of them for a while.

Catching the hem of the kilt, Cougar tugged the back of it up and admired the view. Jensen looked over his shoulder and grinned.

“Hey, sailor, you having fun there?”

Cougar nodded and carefully tucked the tartan into Jensen’s waistband, leaving his butt exposed.

“You’re a kinky little fucker, aren’t you?” Jensen said fondly, then yelped as Cougar slapped his ass.

“Upstairs. Now.”

“Patience is a virtue, you know, dude,” Jensen muttered, but quickened his pace.

***

It took Cougar all of ten seconds to make sure their bedroom door was locked and then crowd Jensen up against it. Technically Jake had a couple of inches on him but right then he wasn’t putting up any resistance, a fact Cougar was more than willing to ruthlessly exploit.

Sucking at the spot under Jensen’s jaw which always made him shiver and moan, Cougar debated his next move. Jensen’s skin was hot under his fingers as he trailed them down his spine and over the curve of his ass.

“Whadya want?” Jensen mumbled as Cougar sucked a careful hickey onto his collar bone.

Cougar hummed approval as Jake fumbled at his belt and jeans, then nipped tiny bites up his neck.

The moment he was free of his jeans and boxers, Cougar tugged Jensen backwards toward the bed, trusting to luck that he’d find it and not end up on his back on the floor. His knees hit the edge of the mattress first and he collapsed gratefully onto it, the sheer amount of filthy ideas in his head was making logical thoughts somewhat difficult.

‘What do you want?’ Jensen had asked. Ha, what didn’t he want, more like. He wanted to finger-fuck Jake until he couldn’t speak, to blow him while he was still wearing that damned kilt, to get him on his back and watch his face as Cougar dragged him right to the edge and then backed off again, to make him fall apart and forget about everything except the feel of Cougar inside him. But that was probably asking more from both their refractory periods than was sensible, so it was time to make a choice.

“Up,” Cougar muttered, pushing the crimson tartan up and away from Jake’s thighs. “Hold it.”

Jensen grabbed the fabric and bunched it up around his waist. “Could just take it off, you know. Ease of access, that kind of thing.”

“No,” Cougar licked a wet stripe up Jensen’s dick. “Keep it on.”

Jensen shuddered as Cougar sucked lightly before sliding his mouth down over him. “Jesus, yeah, okay, whatever you want.”

Smirking around Jensen’s dick was difficult, but Cougar managed it and was justifiably proud. It was the work of a minute to slide his fingers back into that tight heat and find the spot which made Jake gasp and shove his hips forward in automatic response.

“God, Cougs...” he trailed off as Cougar hollowed his cheeks and sucked hard at the same time as twisting his fingers.

Having Jake Jensen shaking and shivering under his hands was still the most intoxicating thing Cougar had ever experienced. He swirled his tongue around and hummed a chuckle as Jensen gasped again. Once more, Jake’s hips jerked forward, Cougar gripped his hip with his free hand and scraped his teeth delicately up the length of him.

Jensen swore breathily and his grip on the tartan turned his knuckles white. That was one more thing Cougar loved about Jake, he didn’t mind a little pain mixed in with his pleasure.

The tight warmth spasming around his fingers was making Cougar’s brain short out. His own cock was leaking steadily and achingly hard. But he could wait a little longer, he was good at waiting, it was one of the biggest parts of his job after all.

Finding the right spot inside him again, Cougar glanced up at Jensen’s face. His eyes were shut, his cheeks flushed and sweat beaded his forehead. His teeth were also sunk into his bottom lip, obviously holding in as much noise as he could. Cougar sucked hard again and drew another shaky gasp from him.

“Jesus, Cougs...um, not gonna last...”

Trailing his tongue from Jensen’s balls to the wet head of his cock, Cougar smiled and shifted aside on the bed. “Here.”

Jensen sank gratefully face first onto the bed. Cougar moved to give him room but kept his fingers pressed firmly into that awesome heat. A few twists and strokes in the right place had Jensen squirming against the duvet and brokenly moaning Cougar’s name.

That was almost it for Cougar, need coiled deep and insistent in his stomach. Damn Jake, he knew what an effect it had when he groaned Cougar’s name like that and he always did it when he was angling to get fucked through the mattress. Well, two could play at that game.

Pulling his fingers free, Cougar flopped down onto his back beside Jensen, then grabbed at him and tugged him up. Jensen went without a fight, his love for being on top was beaten only by Cougar’s love for seeing him there.

The kilt pooled over both of them as Jensen straddled Cougar’s hips and got himself settled. He reached for the buckle at the side to take it off, but Cougar caught his wrist.

“Leave it.”

Jensen smiled as he sank slowly down, that tight heat sliding around Cougar’s aching dick, eclipsing every thought in his head.

“You like it, huh? The kilt, that is.”

Cougar nodded. Yes, he liked the kilt, the socks, the boots, he liked everything. Most of all he liked the sweat beginning to run down Jensen’s bare chest and the way Jake’s mouth fell open as he sat back and took Cougar easily in.

For a while there was no sound except for grunts and moans and the deliciously obscene noise of flesh on flesh as Jensen worked it for all he was worth.

Cougar gripped Jake’s hips and slowed him down, forcing him to go so agonizingly slowly they both teetered on the edge of pleasure/pain.

“Cougs...” Jensen gasped as once again Cougar urged him up and only let him settle back down an inch at a time.

Both Jake’s hands were flat on Cougar’s chest, calloused fingers splayed out over the sacred heart tattoo.

“Cougs, need...” Jensen muttered, then broke off into a gorgeous moan as Cougar snapped his hips up and changed the tempo.

“Know what you need,” Cougar growled. Heat prickled under his skin and the base of his spine was so tight he thought he might pass out when he did actually come. Reluctantly releasing his grip on one of Jake’s hips, he fumbled under the kilt, fighting through folds of fabric until he found what he was looking for.

Jumbled words fell from Jensen’s mouth as Cougar wrapped that hand around him and slowly jerked him off, in a rhythm totally different to the one his hips were setting.

“Oh, fuck, Cougs, Cougar, God...”

Cougar smirked, reducing Jensen to this state was always an absolute pleasure, he had too many thoughts in his head most of the time and seeing him like this was, well, a privilege. Not that Cougar could ever say that out loud, because he had a certain machismo to consider and fluffy phrases like that simply didn’t feed the image.

Far too soon and not nearly soon enough, Jensen tensed, every muscle in his legs and arms going rigid as he arched his back and came messily all over Cougar’s hand and the inside of the kilt. He slumped forward, nearly squashing Cougar, and pressed sloppy kisses to every bit of skin he could reach.

So close he could almost taste his own need, Cougar pushed up determinedly and earned himself another moan from Jensen.

“Gotta move, Jake,” Cougar muttered, flexing the fingers which were still on Jensen’s hip.

Jensen nodded against Cougar’s shoulder and pushed himself back up to a sitting position again. His cheeks were pink and his eyes glowed an almost unnatural blue. He was beautiful. Of course, another word Cougar would never, ever use.

“Eres bonito.” Shit, why had he said that? He definitely hadn’t intended to let that slip out.

Jensen smiled, tired and sated and still sliding up and down Cougar’s cock. “You’re not so bad yourself.”

He clenched down hard and Cougar came with a hoarse cry of surprise. He kept his eyes open as best he could. Other people talked about seeing God when they came but Cougar knew who he’d rather look at. Jensen’s eyes were locked on his and still seemed inhumanly blue.

The aftershocks passed and Cougar made no protest when Jensen slowly pulled off and moved to lie down beside him after removing the half-laced boots.They didn’t always cuddle but Cougar was feeling particularly boneless and satisfied, so didn’t mind in the slightest when Jensen slung an arm across his chest.

Cougar was dozing when Jensen stood up and tugged off the kilt. He lay it carefully on the floor, then climbed back into bed again.

“So gonna have trouble explaining the come stains on that to the dry cleaner.”

“Buy ya a new one,” Cougar mumbled.

“Love you, too,” Jensen muttered, then instantly fell asleep.

****

Cougar woke first, as he usually did. It was dark, they must have slept away most of the late afternoon and evening. Jensen was still snoring softly beside him, his face slack and flushed with sleep.

A thought prickled at the back of Cougar’s mind. Why not? It had worked once, maybe it’d be fun to see whether it’d work again.

Slipping quietly out of bed, he padded round to Jensen’s side and picked up the kilt. It was a little stiff with dried come but Cougar had seen and touched far worse things, so didn’t give it a second thought.

It took a bit of fumbling and a few mumbled curses to get the long strip of tartan wrapped around his hips and secured so that he was reasonably sure it wouldn’t fall off. When it was as secure as it was going to get, Cougar swished it experimentally. He’d never worn anything like it in his life but he had to admit the air flow was kind of nice. And the idea of getting Jensen to fuck him while he was wearing it seared into his brain with the force of a thousand suns.

Yes, Cougar would buy Jensen a new kilt and he might invest in one for himself while he was at it. He could pretend to be Scottish for an hour or three. No way was he attempting the accent though, that would just end badly for all involved.

Smiling wolfishly and still wearing the kilt, Cougar got back into bed and slid down beneath the covers. Jensen had slept for long enough, time for round two.

**Author's Note:**

> 11/04/2014 - Check out the utterly fabulous artwork I was gifted for this story! 
> 
> http://brenna-ivy.tumblr.com/post/81818302302
> 
> Thank you to the artist, Brenna-Ivy and the wonderful Anon who commissioned this art.


End file.
